Monday, February 7, 2011

Not being in control. And being scared of it. (Part III)

It’s been a rough last week for me. And my husband. A rough week full of anger, fear and sadness. I knew that I needed to write about it…if anything to help myself to get over it and to try to digest it. To try to make sense of it. And hopefully to get support from my friends. So here it goes…and since it is a long story, I will put it up over the next couple of days in a few posts. (Read Part I here and Part II here.)

Part III

Monday morning came and we all got up early to get ready to go to the hospital for the little one's tests. At that time were still weren't even sure exactly what kind of tests that he would be getting done. Xrays, ultrasounds or possibly still the CT scan that had been mentioned. Everything still felt up in the air...and I was scared of what we would find out.

We checked into the hospital and were sent up to the third floor to check in at medical imaging. We were the first appointment of the day and all alone in the waiting room. Caleb didn't seem to notice that anything was amiss and was having a great time watching Nick Jr. on the TV, while Chris and I were oddly quiet, contemplating what could happen and both of us trying to not worry too much. Caleb's name was called and we walked back to the room with a technician to find out that he was just going to be getting an ultrasound. (Thank goodness....I was worried about what types of tests that he could have been scheduled for!)

But even as my relief came that all he would get was an ultrasound, little Caleb got very scared and began crying. He was hungry and cranky and starting to get a cold...which didn't make for a very good patient. But the ultrasound technician was an absolutely heaven-sent...she was patient, kind and wonderful with Caleb. Chris and I had to keep taking turns sitting next to him trying to get him to stop crying. He wasn't in pain...just scared and he didn't really understand what was going on.

The test took about 90 minutes and as we were leaving the technician gave us a little bit of good news. She stated that if the doctor had seen something that alarmed him, he would have came into the room to talk with us and that it was a good sign that he didn't need to see us before leaving. Hearing that was one of the best news that I have ever had! I knew that we still needed to get the official word, but hearing that almost put a spring into my step as we were leaving!

And Caleb forgot all of his worries and tears as he got to pick out a toy from the toy closet when we were leaving. When the tech unlocked the door and he saw everything that he could pick from his eyes got huge and he didn't even know how to pick...he was overwhelmed. In the end he picked out a new semi-truck to add to his ever expanding collection of cars!

Since none of us had eaten anything that morning, we let Caleb pick out a place to go out and eat breakfast...and he chose to get a big chocolate chip pancake at IHOP. Which Chris was all for...since he absolutely LOVES pancakes and we don't ever go out to breakfast together as a family.

Since we had both taken the day off of work to deal with this as a family. We just continued on as we had all weekend...together. We enjoyed our breakfast, went home and lounged around the house. We all took a nap together in our bedroom, snuggled in each others arms. All three of us. It was wonderful.

All that was next was waiting to hear the official results from the test. And we did the next day. Nothing was found. The tests came back negative. They found nothing. And this was one time in my life that "finding nothing" was exactly what I wanted.

I was elated.

I was excited.

I cried. I cried with happiness and relief. And then I called my husband to share the news.

We still have some more tests to get through to figure out this whole stomach ache thing. Next up are the poo tests and at the end of the month he has to go in for a colonoscopy. So, we still aren't done with this. Not by a long shot. But we will get through whatever else comes...and we will do it together, as a family. One strong, united family.


  1. Hang in there. Sounds like good news and I hope you continue to get more good news as the tests progress.

  2. Jen, i'm so glad the tests came back negative. Praying for you guys and thinking of you and my boyfriend!!! give him an extra big squeeze for me and i love you all so much.


I love all comments and read every one I get. Thank you for taking the time to write one!

Blog Design by Likely Lola