Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Friday, March 16, 2012
Dedication
Friday, January 6, 2012
My parenting list
My son's birthday is coming up. And it's his 5th. Over the next year he will start at a new school. He will continue to grow both emotionally & physically and become more mature. He will need me less and try more things on his own.
He is on his way to developing into the man that he eventually will become. Over the past few months I have been carefully watching my baby grow into a little boy. He has strong opinions and loves reading and learning. He is sweet and kind and loving...he is oh so very loving. Hearing his sweet voice from the backseat of the car say out of the blue "mommy, I wuv you." well...that just melts me and makes me want to freeze that moment to replay over and over again. Especially when I'm having a bad day. And I am proud of him...so very, very, proud.
He is on his way to developing into the man that he eventually will become. Over the past few months I have been carefully watching my baby grow into a little boy. He has strong opinions and loves reading and learning. He is sweet and kind and loving...he is oh so very loving. Hearing his sweet voice from the backseat of the car say out of the blue "mommy, I wuv you." well...that just melts me and makes me want to freeze that moment to replay over and over again. Especially when I'm having a bad day. And I am proud of him...so very, very, proud.
Over the last few months, I have found myself writing little notes in my cell phone about things that I want to make sure that my son knows. Things that I want to make sure that he learns about...a list of things that I really believe that if he learns as a child will make him into an absolutely wonderful man when he's an adult. It's not a complete list by any means. And it's not the list that will fit every child. But it consists of things that I believe are important.
1) Getting dirty is ok. It's why god made showers and the washing machine. Plus it's one way that I know that you have had as much fun as possible doing something!
2) Don't be afraid to love or afraid to tell people that you love them. And your father and I hope to hear those words come from you in our direction often.
3) It's alright to show emotion. And it's alright to talk about how you feel. I will do my best to help you learn how to do this. Being a good communicator will help you go a long way when you are an adult. And your future spouse will thank me.
4) Hugging is good—actually it's expected in our home. I know that out in the real world that physical touch is not always acceptable, but when you care about someone one of the best ways to show them is by touch…and hugs are one of the best way to do that.
5) Asking why is always acceptable. And I will always do my best to answer with a "real" answer, not just a "because I say so." When I don't know the answer I will find it, with you right by my side.
6) Don't be afraid to be goofy or silly - There are times that we just need to dance to get the silly's out of our system!! (And I LOVE our dance party Sundays!!)
7) Helping mommy or daddy is always appreciated. It's how you will learn how to do things…like fixing things, building stuff, cooking, laundry and dishes. It's one of the things that will help you to be an amazing man and husband in the future.
8) I will always be your cheerleader. For your wins and your losses. I will keep scrapbooks of your life and show them to your prom date. I will brag about you to my friends and on my blog. I will post photos of you on Facebook and I will be there for you every step of the way…cheering you on in your life.
9) You will lose sometimes and it's not the end of the world. Regardless of what other people say, not everyone is a winner at everything. There will be times when you will lose, but your daddy and I will always be there for you. You won't be alone and we will always figure out how to learn from that loss and what to do better next time. And we will teach you to never give up. Never. Ever. Give. Up.
10) We will travel together and see this beautiful world. Your daddy and I will do our best to give you the chance to explore places, both near and far. We might not get to everywhere we want to, but the places that we will go too will help us to make special memories together. And travelling will open your eyes to what this amazing beautiful world has to offer.
11) Your father and I will always be your home base. We will be a solid rock on which you can always land. We will be there at your sporting events, will come to your class parties, we will be there when you call out for us.
3) It's alright to show emotion. And it's alright to talk about how you feel. I will do my best to help you learn how to do this. Being a good communicator will help you go a long way when you are an adult. And your future spouse will thank me.
4) Hugging is good—actually it's expected in our home. I know that out in the real world that physical touch is not always acceptable, but when you care about someone one of the best ways to show them is by touch…and hugs are one of the best way to do that.
5) Asking why is always acceptable. And I will always do my best to answer with a "real" answer, not just a "because I say so." When I don't know the answer I will find it, with you right by my side.
6) Don't be afraid to be goofy or silly - There are times that we just need to dance to get the silly's out of our system!! (And I LOVE our dance party Sundays!!)
7) Helping mommy or daddy is always appreciated. It's how you will learn how to do things…like fixing things, building stuff, cooking, laundry and dishes. It's one of the things that will help you to be an amazing man and husband in the future.
8) I will always be your cheerleader. For your wins and your losses. I will keep scrapbooks of your life and show them to your prom date. I will brag about you to my friends and on my blog. I will post photos of you on Facebook and I will be there for you every step of the way…cheering you on in your life.
9) You will lose sometimes and it's not the end of the world. Regardless of what other people say, not everyone is a winner at everything. There will be times when you will lose, but your daddy and I will always be there for you. You won't be alone and we will always figure out how to learn from that loss and what to do better next time. And we will teach you to never give up. Never. Ever. Give. Up.
10) We will travel together and see this beautiful world. Your daddy and I will do our best to give you the chance to explore places, both near and far. We might not get to everywhere we want to, but the places that we will go too will help us to make special memories together. And travelling will open your eyes to what this amazing beautiful world has to offer.
11) Your father and I will always be your home base. We will be a solid rock on which you can always land. We will be there at your sporting events, will come to your class parties, we will be there when you call out for us.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Our Clubfoot Story - Part 2
Part II: Learning about Clubfoot and choosing a method of treatment
After learning about my son’s diagnosis of clubfoot. I headed to the Internet to collect as much information as I could. I learned that clubfoot is the result of abnormal development of muscles, tendons and bones in the foot while the fetus is forming during pregnancy. Researchers do not know what causes clubfoot, but they do know that it is twice as common in boys and occurs in both feet about 50% of the time. Clubfoot occurs in about 1 in 1000 lives births in the US.
After reading about the statistics and what clubfoot was, my next step was to learn how it is treated. Through my research I learned that there are a few different methods that doctors use for correcting clubfoot. The method that we decided that we wanted to use was the Ponseti Method. The Ponseti method is a non-invasive method that uses manipulation and casting right after birth followed up by the use of special shoes and a bar to correct the malformation. This treatment was developed by a physician in Iowa, Dr. Ignacio Ponseti, over 50 years ago. The treatment begins shortly after birth (within 5-7 days) and consists of manual manipulations followed by plaster casting. The plaster casts are then changed every 5-7 days and the deformity is usually corrected with 5-7 plaster cast changes. (The initial casting can take up to 7 weeks.) Following the casting the child then wears special shoes that are made of high-top open toes with a bar connecting the two shoes with the feet placed at 70 degree outward rotation. The baby will wear these shoes full-time for 3 months and then at night for the next 2-4 years.
Once my husband and I decided on the treatment plan that we wanted we then needed to choose a physician. There are only a few pediatric orthopaedic surgeons here in Arizona that use the Ponseti method and only two in the Phoenix area, so we interviewed both doctors to see which one we wanted. Upon meeting the surgeon that we chose, we knew immediately that he was the one for us. He explained his method, talked a little bit about his background and most importantly made us feel at ease. He was reassuring and calming…which was just what we needed.
While dealing with all of this, the rest of my pregnancy was relatively easy. I worked up until my due date while not missing any days of work and my biggest complaints were that I had horrendous heartburn and my little boy didn’t let me sleep much at night!
Because of the diagnosis we were scheduled to see a perinatologist at least every 4 weeks with each appointment always including a very in-depth 3D ultrasound…I was lucky because I felt like I knew exactly what he would look like when I would finally get to hold him. I knew that he had my nose and my cheeks…he was adorable!
I really am so very thankful that my the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful…I was really on an emotional rollercoaster dealing with all of the extra appointments that we had and learning about the birth defect…I don’t think that I could have handled much more. And I am also so very, very glad for the technology that we have…it is so amazing that the doctors are able to determine that a child has a birth defect while in-utero, so that my husband and I were able to plan for what was to come and we didn’t have any surprises on the day that he arrived!
To Be Continued...
Did you miss part 1? Click here to see it...
After learning about my son’s diagnosis of clubfoot. I headed to the Internet to collect as much information as I could. I learned that clubfoot is the result of abnormal development of muscles, tendons and bones in the foot while the fetus is forming during pregnancy. Researchers do not know what causes clubfoot, but they do know that it is twice as common in boys and occurs in both feet about 50% of the time. Clubfoot occurs in about 1 in 1000 lives births in the US.
After reading about the statistics and what clubfoot was, my next step was to learn how it is treated. Through my research I learned that there are a few different methods that doctors use for correcting clubfoot. The method that we decided that we wanted to use was the Ponseti Method. The Ponseti method is a non-invasive method that uses manipulation and casting right after birth followed up by the use of special shoes and a bar to correct the malformation. This treatment was developed by a physician in Iowa, Dr. Ignacio Ponseti, over 50 years ago. The treatment begins shortly after birth (within 5-7 days) and consists of manual manipulations followed by plaster casting. The plaster casts are then changed every 5-7 days and the deformity is usually corrected with 5-7 plaster cast changes. (The initial casting can take up to 7 weeks.) Following the casting the child then wears special shoes that are made of high-top open toes with a bar connecting the two shoes with the feet placed at 70 degree outward rotation. The baby will wear these shoes full-time for 3 months and then at night for the next 2-4 years.
Once my husband and I decided on the treatment plan that we wanted we then needed to choose a physician. There are only a few pediatric orthopaedic surgeons here in Arizona that use the Ponseti method and only two in the Phoenix area, so we interviewed both doctors to see which one we wanted. Upon meeting the surgeon that we chose, we knew immediately that he was the one for us. He explained his method, talked a little bit about his background and most importantly made us feel at ease. He was reassuring and calming…which was just what we needed.
While dealing with all of this, the rest of my pregnancy was relatively easy. I worked up until my due date while not missing any days of work and my biggest complaints were that I had horrendous heartburn and my little boy didn’t let me sleep much at night!
Because of the diagnosis we were scheduled to see a perinatologist at least every 4 weeks with each appointment always including a very in-depth 3D ultrasound…I was lucky because I felt like I knew exactly what he would look like when I would finally get to hold him. I knew that he had my nose and my cheeks…he was adorable!
I really am so very thankful that my the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful…I was really on an emotional rollercoaster dealing with all of the extra appointments that we had and learning about the birth defect…I don’t think that I could have handled much more. And I am also so very, very glad for the technology that we have…it is so amazing that the doctors are able to determine that a child has a birth defect while in-utero, so that my husband and I were able to plan for what was to come and we didn’t have any surprises on the day that he arrived!
To Be Continued...
Did you miss part 1? Click here to see it...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Our Clubfoot Story - Part 1
Clubfoot definition - A congenital deformity of the foot usually marked by a curled shape or twisted position of the ankle and heel and toes.
I haven’t talked much about the fact that my son with born with severe bi-lateral clubfoot, but I know that I probably should. I believe that by telling our story, from learning about the birth defect when I was only 20 weeks along in my pregnancy and all the way through his treatment, can help other parents to know that they are not alone. Because you are not...there are others that have been through the same things...and we made it. It was tough, but we made it!
How our story went…
In the beginning:
I found out that I was pregnant in April of 2006. My husband and I were so happy. We had been married for 6 years at the time and were finally ready to start our family. We had long ago determined that we were only going to have one child. We didn’t care about the sex of the baby…we just knew that being parents was something that we wanted to be and healthy was all that we were hoping for.
Everything went great in the beginning of my pregnancy. I was one of the lucky few women that never had morning sickness. I was able to sleep each night, go to work each morning and other than gaining weight…there really was no change for me. We went to our first doctor’s appointment at 12 weeks. Listened to the baby’s heartbeat and cried. Cried tears of absolutely happiness. We went back to the doctor at 16 weeks and again at 20 weeks. Note that my husband and I went a different route with our doctor…most women choose to go to a ob/gyn, but our family doctor can deliver babies and we LOVE her, so we opted to have her take care of me during my pregnancy. And because of this when it was time for me to get an ultrasound, I was sent to a clinic that specializes in ultrasounds instead of having it done in my doctors office.
The day of the ultrasound my husband and I were on pins and needles with excitement. We couldn’t wait to finally “see” our baby and find out if we were having a boy or a girl! We met up at the clinic and waited in the lobby for our appointment, holding hands & giggling like children. We were called back and the technician began our ultrasound. She walked us through what we were looking at…the heartbeat, the spine, the kidneys, etc. She then told us that we were having a boy!
But I started to notice that she wasn’t showing us anything on the bottom half of my baby’s body. I found myself asking her over and over, “Everything’s just perfect, right?” And with each question all that I got was either no response or she just started talking about something else. Then came the dreaded words from her. She told us that she believed something might be wrong but that she needed to get a second opinion from the physician, a world-renowned perinatologist that owned the clinic. The technician wouldn’t tell us what was wrong…she just left the room. Turns out that the physician that she consulted with was working that day at one of his other clinics and that he could look at our ultrasound from there. My husband and I silently sat in the exam room crying. Both of us were crying because we had no idea what was going on…
When the technician came back into the room she informed us that the perinatologist wanted to talk to us, so she picked up a phone in the exam room and handed it to me. The doctor then informed me that our baby had a birth defect called severe bi-lateral clubfeet. I don’t remember much more from the conversation…he went over statistics, and treatments and other stuff, but I pretty much just kept hearing “birth defect” over and over and over. I handed the phone back to the technician and told my husband what the doctor had told me. And we both cried. I remember the technician telling us that it would be ok and she also went over the statistics of how many babies are born with it, how it is treatable and other stuff. But I didn’t really hear her. I was in a daze. Next thing I knew we were back in the lobby making follow up appointments, being given literature and getting a printout of some photos from the ultrasound along with a disk of the images.
I was just at such a loss…I had never imagined that the appointment would turn out how it did. I just thought we would go in and find out the sex of our baby…I imagined I would shed tears, but tears of joy not of sorrow and uncertainty. I didn’t know anything about clubfeet other than a few photos that I had seen of children in third world countries. I wasn’t something that I was familiar with…no one in my family or my husband’s family had had this, all of my friends had healthy babies. All that I could picture was that my baby boy wouldn’t walk or that he would have to have multiple painful surgeries.
That night I called my doctor, talked to my family & close friends, cried with my husband & started to research exactly what clubfoot was and how it was treated. I was scared and sad but I knew that I needed more information…
To be continued...
I haven’t talked much about the fact that my son with born with severe bi-lateral clubfoot, but I know that I probably should. I believe that by telling our story, from learning about the birth defect when I was only 20 weeks along in my pregnancy and all the way through his treatment, can help other parents to know that they are not alone. Because you are not...there are others that have been through the same things...and we made it. It was tough, but we made it!
How our story went…
In the beginning:
I found out that I was pregnant in April of 2006. My husband and I were so happy. We had been married for 6 years at the time and were finally ready to start our family. We had long ago determined that we were only going to have one child. We didn’t care about the sex of the baby…we just knew that being parents was something that we wanted to be and healthy was all that we were hoping for.
Everything went great in the beginning of my pregnancy. I was one of the lucky few women that never had morning sickness. I was able to sleep each night, go to work each morning and other than gaining weight…there really was no change for me. We went to our first doctor’s appointment at 12 weeks. Listened to the baby’s heartbeat and cried. Cried tears of absolutely happiness. We went back to the doctor at 16 weeks and again at 20 weeks. Note that my husband and I went a different route with our doctor…most women choose to go to a ob/gyn, but our family doctor can deliver babies and we LOVE her, so we opted to have her take care of me during my pregnancy. And because of this when it was time for me to get an ultrasound, I was sent to a clinic that specializes in ultrasounds instead of having it done in my doctors office.
The day of the ultrasound my husband and I were on pins and needles with excitement. We couldn’t wait to finally “see” our baby and find out if we were having a boy or a girl! We met up at the clinic and waited in the lobby for our appointment, holding hands & giggling like children. We were called back and the technician began our ultrasound. She walked us through what we were looking at…the heartbeat, the spine, the kidneys, etc. She then told us that we were having a boy!
But I started to notice that she wasn’t showing us anything on the bottom half of my baby’s body. I found myself asking her over and over, “Everything’s just perfect, right?” And with each question all that I got was either no response or she just started talking about something else. Then came the dreaded words from her. She told us that she believed something might be wrong but that she needed to get a second opinion from the physician, a world-renowned perinatologist that owned the clinic. The technician wouldn’t tell us what was wrong…she just left the room. Turns out that the physician that she consulted with was working that day at one of his other clinics and that he could look at our ultrasound from there. My husband and I silently sat in the exam room crying. Both of us were crying because we had no idea what was going on…
When the technician came back into the room she informed us that the perinatologist wanted to talk to us, so she picked up a phone in the exam room and handed it to me. The doctor then informed me that our baby had a birth defect called severe bi-lateral clubfeet. I don’t remember much more from the conversation…he went over statistics, and treatments and other stuff, but I pretty much just kept hearing “birth defect” over and over and over. I handed the phone back to the technician and told my husband what the doctor had told me. And we both cried. I remember the technician telling us that it would be ok and she also went over the statistics of how many babies are born with it, how it is treatable and other stuff. But I didn’t really hear her. I was in a daze. Next thing I knew we were back in the lobby making follow up appointments, being given literature and getting a printout of some photos from the ultrasound along with a disk of the images.
 |
| An ultrasound image showing one of my son's clubfeet. |
I was just at such a loss…I had never imagined that the appointment would turn out how it did. I just thought we would go in and find out the sex of our baby…I imagined I would shed tears, but tears of joy not of sorrow and uncertainty. I didn’t know anything about clubfeet other than a few photos that I had seen of children in third world countries. I wasn’t something that I was familiar with…no one in my family or my husband’s family had had this, all of my friends had healthy babies. All that I could picture was that my baby boy wouldn’t walk or that he would have to have multiple painful surgeries.
That night I called my doctor, talked to my family & close friends, cried with my husband & started to research exactly what clubfoot was and how it was treated. I was scared and sad but I knew that I needed more information…
To be continued...
Friday, February 25, 2011
Fear
Fear.
Complete fear and nervousness.
It's what I am full of right now. Every time my cell phone rings with a number that I don't recognize I fear that it will be more bad news. The last few weeks have been full of test after test and appointment after appointment to try to get to the bottom of what is making my son ill and what is making his stomach hurt. Blood tests, fecal tests, an ultrasound and more. So far we have been told that he has either Crohns disease or ulcerative colitis and probably celiac disease. But no definitive answer yet and that is just killing me. I just want to know...not just be told "possibly" or "probably." I can't stand seeing my baby in pain and I want to fix it, but I can't until I know how...and so far I haven't been told how because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I just want to fix it...mommy's are supposed to be able to fix everything aren't we?
So, On Monday my baby boy has yet another trip to the hospital. A trip that includes more tests, biopsies and putting my baby under anesthesia. An endoscopy & colonoscopy. Those words are haunting my dreams...they are not tests that a 4 year old should have to endure, but they are the reason for our trip to the hospital.
And with this trip I am yet again filled with fear.
Fear of my baby boy remembering all of this, fear of waiting and fear for the possible results.
Complete fear and nervousness.
It's what I am full of right now. Every time my cell phone rings with a number that I don't recognize I fear that it will be more bad news. The last few weeks have been full of test after test and appointment after appointment to try to get to the bottom of what is making my son ill and what is making his stomach hurt. Blood tests, fecal tests, an ultrasound and more. So far we have been told that he has either Crohns disease or ulcerative colitis and probably celiac disease. But no definitive answer yet and that is just killing me. I just want to know...not just be told "possibly" or "probably." I can't stand seeing my baby in pain and I want to fix it, but I can't until I know how...and so far I haven't been told how because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I just want to fix it...mommy's are supposed to be able to fix everything aren't we?
So, On Monday my baby boy has yet another trip to the hospital. A trip that includes more tests, biopsies and putting my baby under anesthesia. An endoscopy & colonoscopy. Those words are haunting my dreams...they are not tests that a 4 year old should have to endure, but they are the reason for our trip to the hospital.
And with this trip I am yet again filled with fear.
Fear of my baby boy remembering all of this, fear of waiting and fear for the possible results.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
My how the times have changed
Things definitely change when you become a parent. It used to be so easy to just get up and go. Go anywhere that you wanted. At any time that you wanted. To anywhere that you wanted.
But, having a child completely changes that. There are no more spontaneous dates with your spouse. There are no more late night, last minute meet-ups with friends at the local bar. No more spur of the weekend trips away. Now it seems like everything needs to be planned. Preschool/daycare informed. Babysitters set up. Nap times & meal plans taken into account.
But, as my husband and I unfortunately learned this week, even planning in advance doesn’t always mean that everything goes as planned. A few months ago I had bought tickets to go see Hair with my husband as a date night and we were pretty excited to do and see it. (Well…at least I was, he was just obliging my request for him to attend, as a good husband should!) We arranged for a babysitter months ago, we confirmed with her a week ago, last night we sent her a text to remind her and set a firm time for her to come and guess what happened? Yep, we got a text back that she had forgotten and had other plans. Ugh! With it being the night before and during the holiday season, it is next to impossible to find a babysitter that doesn’t already have plans. So, needless to say, our plans are cancelled and the tickets were given to a good friend that is really excited at the chance to go.
My how things have changed in my life…4 years ago, there would have been no depending on someone else in order for us to get a night out together. We would have just went and had a great time, no worrying about others or scrambling at the last minute to find a sitter. But now…now, things are so very different, and the strange thing is that I wouldn’t want things any other way!
But, having a child completely changes that. There are no more spontaneous dates with your spouse. There are no more late night, last minute meet-ups with friends at the local bar. No more spur of the weekend trips away. Now it seems like everything needs to be planned. Preschool/daycare informed. Babysitters set up. Nap times & meal plans taken into account.
But, as my husband and I unfortunately learned this week, even planning in advance doesn’t always mean that everything goes as planned. A few months ago I had bought tickets to go see Hair with my husband as a date night and we were pretty excited to do and see it. (Well…at least I was, he was just obliging my request for him to attend, as a good husband should!) We arranged for a babysitter months ago, we confirmed with her a week ago, last night we sent her a text to remind her and set a firm time for her to come and guess what happened? Yep, we got a text back that she had forgotten and had other plans. Ugh! With it being the night before and during the holiday season, it is next to impossible to find a babysitter that doesn’t already have plans. So, needless to say, our plans are cancelled and the tickets were given to a good friend that is really excited at the chance to go.
My how things have changed in my life…4 years ago, there would have been no depending on someone else in order for us to get a night out together. We would have just went and had a great time, no worrying about others or scrambling at the last minute to find a sitter. But now…now, things are so very different, and the strange thing is that I wouldn’t want things any other way!
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