Monday, May 14, 2012

Hi... I'm fat


So in case you couldn't tell from my photos...I’m fat.

Not in the “I just ate a huge slice of cake and I feel fat kinda way”…but in the actual I’m 100 pounds overweight kinda way. In the I weigh what I did when I gave birth to my son 5 years ago kinda way. In a I wear the biggest size clothing ever kinda way. 

And if I continue on this track I'm afraid I won’t live to see my son grow to be the wonderful man that I know he will become. If I continue on this way I won’t live to meet my grandchildren or grow old with the love of my life. I'm also afraid if I don't fix this that my son is going to be made fun of in school because his mom's so fat. I don't want to be that person...I don't want to put my family through that kind of pain.

I need to change. I need to lose weight and inches off my body. I need to gain muscle and endurance. I need to wear smaller size clothing and I need to get off my butt and begin to take the steps to doing it.

So today I am starting. I signed up for My Fitness Pal and I’m going to begin tracking my calories. I am going to get out and walk everyday. I am going to attempt to do cardio 3x's a week. I also signed up to to do a relay with friends up in Oregon at the end of August.

As of today, I am taking a stand against myself. A stand against my bad habits. A stand against my addiction to sugar and carbs and deep fried foods.

I love my life but I’m afraid of losing it due to my unhealthy lifestyle. I want my outside to shine as brightly as I do inside and I am hoping that you will help me to be accountable. I need to be held accountable…it’s the only way that I can get through this journey. I need help because I’ve failed so many other times.

I’ve done just about every fad diet out there: HCG, Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage Soup. Heck I’ve even contemplated bulimia as a way to get skinny. But in the past I think that because my goal was only about “being skinny” I failed. I didn’t take the whole journey into account. I didn’t think about how I needed to change my entire life and view of food and exercise if I was going to change what size of clothing that I wear.

Today I begin my change. Today I will begin making small adjustments to the way that I eat…changes that I hope will become habits that will eventually lead to an entire new lifestyle, new body and a healthier Jenn.

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2 comments:

  1. We can do this together... I am in the same boat and today was day 30 on my fitness pal. I have a long way to go, but am feeling stronger already! I promise I am writing myself a note right now to start checking in with you! ;) Of course it would be easier if you moved to Nebraska... how about it? heheh xo

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    Replies
    1. YES! Let's do it together...I really need a check in buddy with this. I know that I can't do it alone!

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