Hi... I'm fat

So in case you couldn't tell from my photos...I’m fat.

Not in the “I just ate a huge slice of cake and I feel fat kinda way”…but in the actual I’m 100 pounds overweight kinda way. In the I weigh what I did when I gave birth to my son 5 years ago kinda way. In a I wear the biggest size clothing ever kinda way. 

And if I continue on this track I'm afraid I won’t live to see my son grow to be the wonderful man that I know he will become. If I continue on this way I won’t live to meet my grandchildren or grow old with the love of my life. I'm also afraid if I don't fix this that my son is going to be made fun of in school because his mom's so fat. I don't want to be that person...I don't want to put my family through that kind of pain.

I need to change. I need to lose weight and inches off my body. I need to gain muscle and endurance. I need to wear smaller size clothing and I need to get off my butt and begin to take the steps to doing it.

So today I am starting. I signed up for My Fitness Pal and I’m going to begin tracking my calories. I am going to get out and walk everyday. I am going to attempt to do cardio 3x's a week. I also signed up to to do a relay with friends up in Oregon at the end of August.

As of today, I am taking a stand against myself. A stand against my bad habits. A stand against my addiction to sugar and carbs and deep fried foods.

I love my life but I’m afraid of losing it due to my unhealthy lifestyle. I want my outside to shine as brightly as I do inside and I am hoping that you will help me to be accountable. I need to be held accountable…it’s the only way that I can get through this journey. I need help because I’ve failed so many other times.

I’ve done just about every fad diet out there: HCG, Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage Soup. Heck I’ve even contemplated bulimia as a way to get skinny. But in the past I think that because my goal was only about “being skinny” I failed. I didn’t take the whole journey into account. I didn’t think about how I needed to change my entire life and view of food and exercise if I was going to change what size of clothing that I wear.

Today I begin my change. Today I will begin making small adjustments to the way that I eat…changes that I hope will become habits that will eventually lead to an entire new lifestyle, new body and a healthier Jenn.

Edit Me Challenge

It has been so, so, so long since I participated in one of these challenges! Last night when I was catching up on some blog reading (wowza was I behind...way, way behind. sorry friends!) I saw the preview post on my friend Branson's blog and I decided to try my hand at the image. Let me tell you this image was so inspirational...and I had so much fun with it! (Thanks for supplying the image & judging this week Andi!!)

My steps:1) Sharpened the image2) Curves layer to brighten the shadows up a bit3) Got rid of what looked like bruises on the leg4) Adjustment layer to pop the color on the dress & cute shoes5) Added a little haze to give it a vintage look6) Finally I added a texture layer and masked off the little sweetie so it wasn't on her. 
Isn't this just the sweetest photo?!? AHHH I LOVE it!

Make sure to head over to the Edit Me Challenge website to check out the other great edits and possibly do one yourself!! 

When competition isn't good

I’ve always loved a good competition. Whether it’s to be the first one to finish a race, a cheering for my favorite team during a great basketball game or just playing a board game with my family…I think it’s healthy. BUT there are times when competition isn’t good. Times when it isn’t healthy. And one of those times is competition within motherhood. I just don’t understand it. It doesn’t help anyone and instead just puts an invisible wall up around us.

There seems to be a constant battle of one-upping each other within motherhood. A battle of whose child is the most advanced or best dressed or emotionally stable. We argue about everything from the best car seats & how long to have a child rear facing to cloth diapering vs. disposable to breast feeding vs. formula feeding.

But what seems to be forgotten about in this competition is that we all strive to do the best with what we have. We all want to give our child the best, but what I might deem the best choice, might not be the same as what you might choose.

AND guess what??

That’s all right. It’s perfectly all right because we are all in this together.

That’s right ladies…WE ARE ALL IN THIS THING CALLED MOTHERHOOD TOGETHER.

We all LOVE our children and are doing our best. You don’t know me and I don’t know you or your personal circumstances or how you were raised or your belief system so I trust that you are doing what is best for your child. And all that I ask of you is that you trust me too. Trust that the choices that I make for my child are the best for us and for my household and for the man that I hope to raise my son to become.

And I ask that we all start supporting each other and our choices instead of competing with each other. Becoming a mother is hard. One of the hardest things that any one of us can do and instead of tearing each other down, why don’t we concentrate on building each other up instead?

So all that I ask of you today is to reach out to another mother and praise them about something that they are doing. Call up your friend and comment on something in their parenting style that you admire in them…whether it’s how little Johnny is doing in school or how amazing it is that little Suzie started walking this week or even just telling them they are doing a great job raising their children. Just do it. RIGHT NOW!

Disneyland via iPhone

Disneyland in 16 iPhone photos...

Living Life

What I've been doing while on my bloggy break:
reading, walking, working as a graphic designer, taking up running, hiking, going on picnics, flying kites, date nights, perfecting my margarita recipe, went to disneyland, easter egg hunts, going to the movies, watching soccer, learning, photographing my kiddo, swimming, bbqs, getting a new hairstyle, birthday parties, girls nights out, going to plays, working as a photographer, working on eating better & being more healthy, spending time with friends, tasting new wines, sitting at our fire pit teaching my son how to make s'mores, friday night happy hours with my neighbors, enrolled my son in kindergarten, enjoyed long drives, tried out new restaurants, made new friends, and more...so so so much more. 
I've been living life.
I've been enjoying my life and living it. And it's been wonderful.
This year I set a goal for myself to become more connected and I've spent the last 3 months reconnecting to my family and close friends and it's been amazing. I feel renewed and more confident in myself. I feel more at peace with my choices and more in love with my husband and son than ever before. I am happy with where I am in life and the last few months have shown me how lucky I am to be where I am. And I won't take it for granted ever again. 

Dedication

Dedication is coaching your son's soccer team for the past 4 season's. It's having practice every Thursday night for an hour. It's going to games at 8:30am on a Saturday. Or 11:00 am. Or 2:30 pm. Dedication is making sure that every kid gets a goal each game and making sure that they walk away at the end of the season learning more about how to play the game AND making sure that they understand good sportsmanship. 
Dedication is taking a long lunch from work and coming to the game in a tie & dress shoes to coach 9 little 5 year olds for soccer.  Then going back to work for another 5 hours before coming home for dinner. 

I appreciate the dedication that my husband has to making my son's (and other little boys') experience with team sports something amazing. Thank you Chris for being such an amazing father!

Snickerdoodles

My husband's favorite cookie is a Snickerdoodle. But I never make them for him because I always forget to buy cream of tartar and keep it stocked in my pantry.

BUT then I came across a recipe in an old cookbook. Yep, that same old wonderful (and VERY used) cookbook that my grandmother gave me before she passed away. Buried within the pages of the cookbook was yet another one of her wonderful handwritten recipe cards...a recipe card with an easy, delicious recipe for snickerdoodles. And the recipe did NOT call for cream of tartar. So I was intrigued...could it still taste like a snickerdoodle with that ingredient?

Yep...it still tasted as wonderful as snickerdoodles do...even without the cream of tartar! AND because I had all of the ingredients in my trusty old panty my husband got to eat his very favorite cookie that same day that I found the recipe! I hope that you enjoy these cookies as much as he did!! (And me...I can't hide the fact that I LOVED these too!)

Grandma's Snickerdoodles

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter (room temperature)
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1 or 2 tablespoons milk
• 1/4 cup sugar + 1 tablespoon cinnamon for dipping

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Cream butter and sugar with an electric mixer until smooth. Add egg and vanilla, mixing well until combined. (Approximately 2 minutes.)
3. In separate bowl sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon.
4. Slowly combine together wet & dry ingredients. Mix until dough comes together.
5. Add in 1 tablespoon of milk. (If you find that the dough is a bit crumbly, add milk 1 tablespoon at a time until it comes together.)
6. Refrigerate dough for 20-30 minutes.
7. While dough is in refrigerator, combine remaining sugar and cinnamon in a bowl.

8. Remove dough from fridge and roll into big 1 1/2 inch balls.

9. Dip in cinnamon sugar mixture and place on baking sheet. Lightly press down on dough to flatten it. 10. Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes.

I'm linking up with the following: Take-A-Look Tuesday, Tasty Tuesday, Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays, Delicious Dishes, Tuesdays at the Table, Bake with Bizzy,  Taking a Time Out Thursday, House of Hepworths, Full Plate Thursday,  Show Me Your Stuff, Strut Your Stuff,  It's a Keeper Thursday,