Fear

Fear.

Complete fear and nervousness.

It's what I am full of right now. Every time my cell phone rings with a number that I don't recognize I fear that it will be more bad news. The last few weeks have been full of test after test and appointment after appointment to try to get to the bottom of what is making my son ill and what is making his stomach hurt. Blood tests, fecal tests, an ultrasound and more. So far we have been told that he has either Crohns disease or ulcerative colitis and probably celiac disease. But no definitive answer yet and that is just killing me. I just want to know...not just be told "possibly" or "probably." I can't stand seeing my baby in pain and I want to fix it, but I can't until I know how...and so far I haven't been told how because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I just want to fix it...mommy's are supposed to be able to fix everything aren't we?

So, On Monday my baby boy has yet another trip to the hospital. A trip that includes more tests, biopsies and putting my baby under anesthesia. An endoscopy & colonoscopy. Those words are haunting my dreams...they are not tests that a 4 year old should have to endure, but they are the reason for our trip to the hospital.

And with this trip I am yet again filled with fear.

Fear of my baby boy remembering all of this, fear of waiting and fear for the possible results.

What is Playing Wednesdays (on Thursday)

One of my favorite artists finally released her new album this week and I can't even begin to tell you how much I've been looking forward to it. It's the lovely and amazing Adele and her new album entitled 21.

There is only one word that I can use to describe the album: SWOON!

I am absolutely enthralled with this album and Adele herself. It is filled with the warmth and emotion that only she can bring to the table. Her voice is so amazing...Man, that girl can SING! (And the song writing is impeccable.)

Definitely check it out...you won't be disappointed!





(Make sure to get the Deluxe Edition...it has some live versions of the best songs on the album. Take a listen to the 2nd video that I posted here...it's a live version of my favorite song that was recorded in her living room! Swooning yet again!)

I'm getting old...

Ok...I think that I am officially old. And yet I still find myself having to buy acne cream/face wash. I am so confused.

My weekend consisted of getting excited to clean my house and buy a new dishwasher. Therefore I am old. Because when appliances and cleaning your home get you all in an excited tizzy, you are old, right?

But I also ordered myself some Proactiv last week to combat the adult acne that has graced my face since becoming a mom 4 years ago. The strange part of my order was making sure to get a good moisturizer to help combat the wrinkles & sun damage.

So therein lies the confusion. So if I am getting old, why am I having to deal with a teenage problem like acne?



ps. I really, am truly excited about the new dishwasher. I can't even begin to put it into words. My old one was a disgrace to my kitchen. It wasn't getting the dishes clean and it was leaving gross white residue on everything. Ugh...

Get. Off. Your. Damn. Cellphone.

Just a quick little rant for today:

You.

Yes, you.

Please, get off your damn cell phone.

When you are:

• ordering coffee at Starbucks
• in line to buy your groceries at the store
• ordering food at the drive-thru
• picking up you prescription at the pharmacy
• in my office for an appointment
• at the counter at the bank

Because damn it...it's frickin rude.

And by doing it, you are making the person helping you feel like they are nothing more than wallpaper on the wall.

But in fact they are people.

Real people that deserve more respect than that.

That. Is. All.

What is Playing Wednesday

So...if you watched the Grammy's on Sunday you will have seen that Arcade Fire won for Album of the Year. I was so glad that for once a really, really great album won. So if you haven't taken the time to listen to them, so should. Do it. Now. You won't be disappointed.

Why I Dislike Valentine's Day

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Which I’m sure that you already know. But I just have to tell you that Valentine’s Day when you are a parent is much, much different than before you had kids. It just doesn’t have the same importance that it used to have…for many reasons. I think that I finally hit that “I’m an old fuddy-duddy” phase of adulthood, because I look at things so very differently than I used to, and I find myself really not liking Valentine’s Day anymore.

#1 – The last thing that I want to do is to have to make reservations waaaaayyyy in advance and sit in a crowded restaurant being waited on by a server that would rather be spending their time with their “special someone.” And the crowds…ugh, don’t even get me started on the crowds on a holiday like Valentine’s Day.

#2 – The struggle of finding a babysitter on Valentine’s Day is like trying to get the “IT” toy of the year for your kid at Christmas. Since there are so few good babysitters nowadays, you have to practically fight other couples in order to schedule a babysitter for Valentine’s Day. Or if you only use family members to watch your kids, you are scheduling months in advance in order to beat your siblings to reserving grandma’s time.

#3 – The cost of Valentine’s Day is just ridiculous. Why would I want my husband to spend double or triple the amount of money on flowers that he could bring me any other day. Or chocolates. Or cards. I also think that getting these items as a surprise on a “normal” day means so much more to me. I would rather get something “just because” rather than because of a holiday…it means that he is thinking about me on his own, not because he’s supposed to.

I just would rather stay at home in my yoga pants & a tank top, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie with my hubby. Or sitting outside under the stars by our fireplace. Those moments are the ones that I treasure so much more. Those are the moments in which our love shines through…the moments that don’t need all the hoopla surrounding them. They are the moments that we spend together because we WANT to, not because we are supposed to!

My little Valentine

So, while I am celebrating "Being Together" day with my hubby, I actually do have a Valentine this Valentine's Day.  He a handsome little man that managed to steal my heart just over 4 years ago. His beautiful brown eyes are burned into my soul. His sweet smile gives me goosebumps and everytime he says "I love you so, so, so much" in his amazing little voice, my heart just melts.

He's my little Caleb. The boy that just melts my heart when I think about him. He's funny, smart, goofy and just about perfect and I couldn't ask for a better Valentine!

So who's your Valentine?